Step 3 on the Road to Authenticity – Being Dependent to Gain Independence
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Step 1 was about recognizing where you are powerless, and where you have power.
Step 2 was about finding a power greater than the power you have on your own.
Step 3 is about willingness.
It’s about learning to rely on that power.
We gave the example of listing 5 people you can look up to as mentors. Once you have that list of people (from step 2) we have to learn to rely on that group. Just having that list isn’t enough.
It’s about becoming dependent in order to gain independence.
This is a healthy kind of dependency. This is NOT co-dependency.
Look at a basketball team – they can practice and they will get only so good. They get better when they play against teams with more experienced players. In other words you get better by playing against someone who is better than you.
You get better by losing.
We struggle to reach out to others when we need to.
Either because we haven’t formed the habit, or maybe we’ve been burned by someone. Maybe someone hurt us with the information we shared with them. So now we don’t want to share with anyone.
We have to break through that.
When I call my 5, I may only get through to one of them in the moment. But guaranteed all 5 will have called back by morning, especially if I’ve left a message saying I need help.
Let’s say you’re someone who gives back lot.
You can be disappointed.
Here’s what we get wrong about helping others:
Jay Shetty (Facebook and Instagram)
The Businessman and the Retired Teacher
Sometimes we don’t get the support we think we need because it’s our time to learn to stand up on our own.
Willingness is the key that opens the door. Sometimes we take our will back, and the door slams shut.
All we need to to is pick up that key of willingness and put it back in the door, and the door swings wide open.
So it boils down to a decision.
Make a decision to be willing to rely on your support system. Then when you find you are not doing that, make the decision again.
Try it – Go seek out the advice, and actually DO it! Even if it goes against what you feel comfortable doing. Hint: If it makes you uncomfortable (without being inappropriate of course) there’s a good chance that means you’re about to experience some growth.
Action items – get off that log
- Make a list of what you’ve been struggling with (from step 1).
- Take that list (or an item from that list) to someone from your list in step 2.
- Write out a brief summary of how the experience went.
Billbeez – Finance Made Simple
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