Being Dependent Gives Us Independence

This doesn’t make any sense does it? Or doesn’t it?

If you bear with me and follow me on this, you’ll see why the reason it doesn’t make any sense, at first is because of our own shit, which blocks us from progress in almost every single area of our lives.

This is the way to a faith that works

Our egos make it difficult to believe something like this. We think we don’t need any help, and we further this notion with the idea that needing help is a sign of weakness.

We couldn’t possibly be more wrong about this. Asking for help is a sign of strength, borne of humility. It means we acknowledge that we don’t know everything, and we can always learn more. In fact, this is the only way to grow.

Too many of us don’t want to listen. We think that listening means we need help, and that needing help means we’re weak. Then we wonder that we cannot make any real progress in anything.

  • Is your business stagnant?
  • Are your relationships not moving in the direction you’d really like?

Maybe… just consider the possibility that you aren’t listening. Another symptom of this is that you are constantly exerting your own will on others.

  • Are you controlling people instead of working with them?
  • Do you cut people off mid-sentence, because you’re afraid you’ll forget what you have to say?

Want the antidote?

It’s actually really simple. If it’s that important to say it, you won’t forget it. And if you forget it, before you have a chance to say it, then it wasn’t that important.

What I have learned is that by taking the cotton out of my ears and putting it in my mouth, I learn a great deal more. I’ve also found repeatedly that when I want to cut someone off and say something but don’t, I almost always find that what I wanted to say isn’t necessary to say. The reason is that after more information was revealed (based on listening), my disruptive response would have been based on conjecture. Look conjecture up (or google it) it’s a good one.

Everything that we “know” to be true is based on dependence. We trust the source from which we’ve learned something, and then we rely on it. That’s another way of saying we depend on it. Often times we think that source is our own experience, but look deeper at the experience. Something IN that experience taught us something. We draw conclusions based on information we’ve gathered, and this means we’re relying, or depending on something, doesn’t it?

Would you jump up in the air,

if you didn’t know you could depend on gravity?

Yet how many of us REALLY understand how gravity works? Most of us are not scientists, and therefore we have no real fundamental understanding of how gravity works. Yet we aren’t afraid to jump up in the air, lest we float away into outer space and suffocate.

We depend on many things, and that dependence

gives us the freedom to jump without fear.

If I can humble myself enough, to recognize that I have more to learn, then I can find the sources that I trust. I can learn from those sources. The newfound knowledge, that I acquire from the sources I trust, gives me the independence to act with confidence. I act with the confidence that I am acting appropriately, in any situation. That appropriate action is how I grow every single day.

Learning to live a life of independence that is based on appropriate dependence is how I am able to function really well in this world. Being dependent on the right sources, has given me tremendous independence. Now I am clear on how to live and let live. When a relationship yields 0% for me, I know it’s time to move on. When someone is doing something that I don’t like, I have choices today. The best choice, in these cases, is simply to remove myself from that person, place or thing, that I have an issue with. The best amends we can often make, is to leave a person, place, or thing alone.

Some of this might seem a little “out there” but I assure you it isn’t.

I don’t have to like everyone and everything out there, but that doesn’t mean I annihilate them. It means I displace them, by replacing them with what, or whomever enriches my life.

For some of us, we find that dependence on G-d or a higher power (if you prefer) is where we get the greatest freedom. Freedom is independence, and independence can always be achieved by finding the RIGHT sources to depend upon.

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