Most Unique

This was a designation usually given to the most gothic kid in the senior class of my high school. That was not me. There were days when I might have looked the part or something close to it and I was definitely drawn to that crowd, but never really part of it. I used to love to hang out at a club called Paris NY which was where all of the “gothic” kids hung out, but I was still never completely “in”. So even as far as the “typical” most unique kids went, I was apparently still unique.

The truth is by the time I graduated from high school I had gone through so many transformations I didn’t know who I was. I just knew I liked the idea of being different. I liked the idea that I walked to the beat of my own drum! People used to compliment me on being a rare young man in that I did not care what others thought. Truth is nothing could have been further from the truth. I was actually obsessed with what others thought. I was also convinced I would never be accepted by any group as I was so I went out of my way to be different. This got me a lot of attention and as it turns out I really liked that. I really didn’t fit in with any crowd. Looking at all the stereo types. I wasn’t a Jock. I wasn’t a nerd, although looking back now if I had to say where I would have fit in best, it probably would have been there. At least I think that is where I would have felt most at home and where I would have been able to be the most true to who I really am at heart. Instead I put up a big facade. So most people who knew me then and especially those who know me today assure me I am anything but a Nerd, but I know better. Deep down inside that is exactly what I am. I love to learn things – especially things that require above average intelligence and the reality is that by and large, people scare me. They really do!

There were times in my life when you might have put me very obviously into any one of the typical stereo type groups – Jocks, Nerds, Dirtbag, Burn-out, hippy, surfer, preppie, JAP (Jewish American Prince). You name it and I was probably it for at least a short period of time. This is because I really didn’t know where to go. All of this landed me a high school superlative. Most Unique. Was I really that unique? I don’t think so. Truth is I wanted the same thing every kid wanted. To feel like I belonged and to feel like I had people in my life who cared about me, what I thought, and what I had to say? Did I have that? I’m sure I did but I am equally sure I was blind to it.

So here I am at age 40 writing about it. Missed my 10 year reunion because I was in rehab. Missed my 20 year because I was and still am busy building a company. Nerd Enterprises, Inc. I finally came home so to speak. My goal is to be flying to my 30 year in a private jet

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